Feelings

 Flowers That Never Fade Click the link. It says it all and made me cry.

Another Quizz

Your Eyes Should Be Brown Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom

What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

I took another test today. You answer the questions and it tells you what color eyes your really have. It was very interesting. On another note, the doctor called today and I am having surgery on Tuesday Dec. 6th. My mind is going in so many directions. I have so much to do before then. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow to have my prescriptions refilled for 3 months. I also have a doctor appointment on Wednesday at the hospital to do more blood work and check my blood pressure. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be fine so I can have these 2 surgeries and get rid of all the pain.

I need to go to bed now because I have to get up early and do more shopping before my doctor appointment.

Christmas

Today was a very busy day. My husband and daughter decorated the outside of the house. I can't believe how beautiful it turned out. My husband said he is not through yet. I can't believe he wants to add more but he knows I love lights so the more the merrier.

I am going to try and do some Christmas shopping tomorrow. I also want to start slowly adding all the lights on the windows. It takes me about a week to put everything up. I also put about 1,000 lights on our Christmas tree. When everything gets done I will try and post a picture of the house on my journal. First I have to learn how. LOL

Well, I am off to put my pj's on and relax.

You have cat eyes. If you're irritated about something, people would automatically know, whether looking in your eyes or analyzing your body language. You may have other subtle ways of letting people know how you feel. You hate to be bothered, and prefer not to deal with so many people. That's what makes you a bit of a solitude person. You can have fun when you want though. That's what makes you interesting.

Doctor's Appointment

I went and did all of my grocery shopping this morning. I got the turkey and everything my sister emailed to get. I spent way to much money. Hubby and I went to see the cardiologist this afternoon. Boy, what a frustrating appointment. I had the stress test and the radiologist and cardiologist both don't agree. The cardiologist does not see anything but the radiologist says he sees something. My husband was so confused and so was I. In the end I agreed to have a angiography tomorrow at 1 pm and then if there is a blockage I will have the angioplasty. If I have the anioplasty I can't have my hernia or hysterectomy surgeries for a few months. I explained to the doctor that my insurance runs out at the end of December and the new insurance won't kick in until the end of March. I am just tired of being in pain. I can deal with not having the hysterectomy but it is the hernia that is giving me the pain.

Well it has been a long day and I think I will go and read my pray card that my mother used to carry with her always. I think I will put the pray in my journal so I will always remember to read it.

                                                     Just for Today  

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and  concentration.  

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly; keep my voice low; be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.                                                 

                                                Prayer For Today  

     Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury; pardon; where there is doubt; faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness; light, and where there is sadness, joy.  O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.    

I haven't really felt much like typing in my journal lately, but also haven't felt like doing anything. I just can't seem to get motivated and I know I am going to pay for it this week since I have family coming on Wednesday night. Since hubby is off Monday I will probably have him help me. I am going grocery shopping on Monday and than my doctor appointment is a 2 and I know hubby is going with me because I don't know how to get there. Hopefully after I talk to the cardiologist I will be able to call my other doctors to set up my surgeries.

Well, my daughter will be home in about 3 hours and I want to get some of my housework done before we start on her homework.

Have a great Sunday.

busy, busy

I woke up early this morning so I could take Sara to school. After I took her to school I went to the bank, got gas, went to Wal-mart, Cub Foods and then to the Hostess store to get 10 loafs of bread.  I feel like I just want to sit in a chair the rest of the day but I have so much other things to do. I am going to make tacos, hamburger helper and some hamburgers so I don't have to cook all weekend.

My daughter has a birthday party/sleepover at a hotel tomorrow. I think I might just go rent some movies and have a quiet evening to myself.

Well, I guess I will go and make the beds and do some other things.

Have a great day.

I am doing a test to see if this works. I did a long entry the other day and I couldn't save it and also lost it. Testing, Testing 1   2    3

Life Motivator Link from a Friend

Right Now Click on the link to the left. It says it all.

Today was a very lazy day. I got up very early thinking I was going to be productive and get a few things done around the house. I had my coffee at 7 am and watched the news but than decided to go back to bed and watch TV.  My husband got up so I decided to take a shower and get dressed and join him on the front porch with a cup of coffee. Boy, I couldn't believe how windy it was. Most of the Thanksgiving decorations I put up yesterday were all on the ground. I stayed on the porch and finished my cup of coffee and than went inside and turned on the TV.

I had to pick up my daughter from her sleepover at 10 and from that point on we watched a movie and watched TV most of the day. I went from the couch to the loveseat to my bed all day. Sometimes you just need one of those days to do absolutely nothing, and today was that day. 

Tomorrow is another day. Hugs.  

What I am doing today

I am not to sure what I want to do today. My daughter's friend spent the night. I told her I wanted her to spend the night because I wanted to look at her funny face to make me laugh. So when she called her mother she told her what I said. That made me laugh. I really do need to laugh the next couple of day until my test. So, if you have any jokes send them my way. LOL

I just hung up some window clings of leaves that my mother in law gave me. I don't really have any Thanksgiving decorations. The other decorations she gave me I am probably going to hang up later. I need to use some hammer and nails to put the Turkey and Pilgrims outside and also to tie 2 or push in the ground the 2 big scare crows she gave us.

I was thinking about taking the girls to the show but since I bought Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and they watched it yesterday I really don't have any extra money to be spending.

I am so happy my husband is off tomorrow and Monday. I think we will try to have some alone time on Monday and talk about some things. He told me yesterday that he is very worried but confident that everything was going to be ok. He is my rock, my strength and all around great guy. (except when we fight)  lol

 

You Are Not Alone

Sometimes it seems like the world
is crumbling around us
and we just can't go on.
But those are the times when
we most need to look to the future
to hold on to our faith and hope
and to each other.
One of the hardest things to accept
is the realization that things
that make no sense to us now
may never make any sense,
but life will go on anyway...
with no explanations or apologies,
and that we somehow survive
the changes thrust upon us.
We even manage to grow...
but nothing grows without rain,
so when it begins to pour,
let it flow.
And when the storm has passed,
let it go.
Be kind to yourself;
ask for what you need.
You are not alone.

Disappointment

I think the reason I put up the Lucy picture is because right now I am trying to think happy thoughts and this was one of my favorite episodes.

Well let's see, where do I start,  my surgery was canceled today because my EKG was irregular and I have to go see a heart specialist. (can't spell cardialogist) can't find it on aol dictionary.  LOL I have been waiting for surgery for over a month and have been counting down the days.  Now I have to wait another 5 days to find out about my heart. When my mom was alive she used to say that every time you  go to the doctor they always find something wrong. She hardly ever went to the doctor.

With the holiday's coming I just wanted the surgery out of the way first of all to get rid of the pain and second so I would be able to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas. The torture of being on hold and not knowing is what is making me more and more depressed. Well, I think I will end for now. Have a great weekend. I am thinking of putting my journal public so maybe others out there can give me their opinion and thoughts.

 

Dr. Appt.

It is just one of those morning again. I couldn't sleep and I was up by 5:30. Hubby and I sat outside at about 6:15 and drank some coffee. I am leaving this morning for the checkup, blood work and EKG. I hope it doesn't take to long because I didn't really do all the things I wanted to do yesterday. I want to get a lot more done today since my mother in law is coming tomorrow at about noon or so. Well, I am off to get dressed and on the road. Have a great day.

Believing

Believe"

I believe- That we don't have to change friends if we understand that
friends change.

I believe- That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you
every once in a while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe- That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest
distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe- That you can do something in an instant that will give you
heartache for life.

I believe- That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to
be...God ain't finished with me yet!

I believe- That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may
be the last time you see them.

I believe- That you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe- That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe- That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe- That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe- That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it
needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe- That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe- That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the
best time.

I believe- That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're
down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe- That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but
that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe- That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them
to,  doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe- That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences
you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe- That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes
you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe- That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't
stop for your grief.

I believe- That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we
are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe- That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't
love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they
do.

I believe- That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could
change your life forever.

I believe- That two people can look at the exact same thing and see
something totally different.

I believe- That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who
don't even know you.

I believe- That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend
cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe- That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human
being.

I believe- That the people you care about most in life are taken from you
too soon.

I believe- That if you have faith in God, He can take care of everything. It
may not be the way you think it should be, but it is the correct way.

Just thought I would add a quick entry since I am going to begin washing floors, vacuuming and all that good stuff. I had another hard time sleeping last night. It might be because hubby and I had a fight. I woke up early this morning because I had a lot on my mind and I knew that I had to start getting the house in order. Well, enough for now. If I get a chance I will put in another entry later. Have a great day.  

in pain

It has been a very busy day today. When we got home from shopping my husband started doing his thing outside while I was cleaning and doing on the inside. I made the mistake and lifted 2 5gallon water jugs to put in the laundry room. After I did that I started hurting so I was relaxing on the couch when Walgreens called and she my prescription was ready. I couldn't believe my luck. I thought my doctor was not going to refill my pain medicine. I was waiting for my daughter to get home from school to take her with me to get my medicine and to buy her new gym shoes. My daughter walked in with my neighbors daughter and said she forgot her book at school and could I take her to the library so she could do her homework. I called the school to see if we could get her book but the office said no. So, off to the library we went until 4:45. Since I took her daughter to the library Toni said she would pick up my prescription, she had to take her daughter to dance lessons right by the pharmacy. So, here I sit still in pain and anxiously waiting for her to bring it to me.

While I was at the library I came across this great book called Perfect Balance. It is a breakthrough program for finding the lifelong hormonal health that you deserve. It shows the latest scientifically proven information on hormone replacement therapies. It even mentioned the Bioidentical hormones I want to take. It also mentions how to enjoy sex, sleep well and eliminate fatigue. To look and feel your best. Also to prevent the advance of Alzheimer's and other diseases.  I read a few chapters while we were at the library. It is a very interesting book. I am so happy I came across it. It does not have to be back to the library for 2 weeks so hopefully I will finish it by then.

I think it is time for me to relax and watch Wife Swap. It looks like it is going to be a funny one. Have a good evening.

My husband and I just got back from getting my tire fixed for free at Sam's Club. It had a slow leak. My friend Melissa told me that if you are a member of Sam's Club they will do it for free. I couldn't believe it. Nothing in this world is for free anymore. They fixed it within 25 minutes and we shopped while they were doing the tire.

I am telling you everytime I bring my husband to the store with me we always seem to spend a lot more money. We also had to go to Cub Foods for some lunch meat but of course bought more than we should have. I shouldn't be complaining because I am trying to stock up while I am in the hospital and also when I come home to recouperate.

Well, I guess I will close for now because I have so much to do around the house for the next couple of days. My sister in law called today to go to lunch tomorrow but I don't think I will go since I have to have a checkup and blood work done and I don't want to have a hangover. TTFN

Can't Sleep

It is going on 11 pm here and I just can't go to sleep. I took 2 Tylenol PM and I am hoping it will kick in very soon. I am worried about Thursday when I have to take the Fleet medicine. I have to start taking it at 10am. My mother in law is coming Thursday morning and I did tell her that I will probably be in the bathroom the whole time she is here. I really hate the feeling of the Fleet because it gives you terrible cramps. Thursday is also the day I can only have clear liquids but I probably won't want anything since I will be in such pain. I wish I could just skip Thursday and go straight to the hospital on Friday. I guess I have to just suck it up and do it. There is no way of getting around it. I guess I will try to lay back down and hopefully my eyes will close.

Great Neighbors

When I moved here 14 months ago I couldn't believe the difference from living in the big city of Chicago and moving to a small town in Illinois. My first day moving in I had a neighbor come to the door and introduce himself and his daughter. Wow was I surprised. I am surrounded by male neighbors except one wonderful woman who has become my friend and she is the wife of the husband who introduced himself on the first day. My daughter has become good friends with their daughter.

This morning my husband was having coffee with our neighbor next to us and he gave my husband some fresh salsa he made. I have been giving this neighbor a lot of vegetables from our first garden that we planted this year. Just a few minutes ago our door bell rang and it was the same neighbor bringing over brownies.

I am so happy that we have moved here. Don't get me wrong, I do love the city of Chicago but I lived there for over 44 years and on a busy street so this wonderful small town life is my cup of tea. Waking up every morning to the sound of  birds chirping and squirrels going crazy really beats the sound of trucks and honking horns.

Well, it is time for me to get another cup of coffee and maybe one of those brownies. Remember I am not starting my diet until after surgery.  LOL 

My first entry

My daughter and husband got me a journal last year so I could write down my thoughts. I think I have only written in it a total of 5 times. I am not really sure why I don't write in it more. I am not even sure if I am going to like typing in this journal.

I have been reading other peoples journals and I find them very interesting and inspiring. You never realize how many people have the same weight issues as you do. I hope to eventually take my journal public instead of private so I can get inspired by other peoples comments and in helping me to find the strength to lose the weight.